Sloan Hands Caption This Contest #1

Time for some audience participation -- post your caption for this Sloan Hands picture in the comments!

Big Up Bill Simmons!

Thanks for the tweet, Sports Guy! A great Christmas gift idea for everyone: Sloan Hands.

Is That Your Hand, Jerry, Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Come Any Closer with Those Sloan Hands and I'll Punch You!

'But Andrei, I just want to hug you and/or destroy your confidence!'

As You Can See, This Hand Is HUGE

I'm Gonna T You Up If You Don't Reduce the Size of Your Hands

No bigger than this!

Sloan Hands Quietly Tucked Away ... FOR NOW

I Can Palm An Entire Human Being

Sloan Gives PC Laptops One Thumb Up

And If You Keep Staring at My Hands, I WILL Trade You

That means you, Araujo!

Hold Me Now

Malone Hands Are Just as Good as Sloan Hands

Gently, Gently ... GO GO GO!

My God, Sloan's Hands Are Huge

The other man really can't stop looking at them under the table.

Soft -- But Not as Soft as Sloan Hands

I'm Gonna Count To 3 -- 1 ... 2 ...

Fingers -- SO Heavy

If It'd Been Me, Latrell Wouldn't've Survived

What Do You Think? Too Big?

Rub These Two Together To Make Fire

Here, I Found This In My Hand -- Want It?

Still Soft After All These Years

Just Like a Softball Player to Have Super-soft Hands

If I Were Coach Sloan, I Could Crush Your Head with One Squeeze

AAIIGGH!! I Lost My Right Hand!!! (just kidding, only acting)